Cultural usage

In Brazil, Germany, Bulgaria, Greece, Italy, Poland, Portugal, Russia, Croatia, Hungary, Slovenia, Turkey, Spanish speaking countries and also Arabic speaking countries, "horns" are a metaphor for suffering the infidelity of a partner, not limited to husbands in modern usage. However, the use of the term dates from the Roman empire, since legionaries returning from the war were given horns as a triumph or prize. So, the use of the term is a mockery of the husband, victorious in the battlefield, but defeated in his own bed. The gesture of the horned hand can be used to insult the cuckold.

The Italian equivalent is cornuto, sharing the same exact double entendre with cornuted, asserting both featuring horns and cuckolded. Its use is playful and lightheartedly derisive, with little or no particular efficacy in scorning someone during confrontations as it is lacking earnest damning credentials, potentially leading all parties to a chuckle and smothering the feud at its inception. A pervasive metaphor parodies the use of cornuto to great effect: Il bue che dà del cornuto all'asino, meaning The ox labelling the donkey cornute, equivalent to Pot calling the kettle black.

In Portuguese the terms corno ("horn"), cornudo or chifrudo ("horned") are used to spite or mock the cheated male partner. The expression corno manso ("tame horned") is used to indicate those men who, although cheated by their partners, come to accept it as a fact of their lives.

The Spanish word for a consenting cuckold, cabrón, has such an offensive nuance that it is a taboo word rarely used with its original meaning, "he-goat". However, according to the tone and the relation to the addressed, it can be even laudatory.

The Chinese term for "cuckold" is literally translated to "wearing a green hat" (???, dài lu mào).[1] It is because of this that it is extremely rare to see any Chinese man wearing a green hat.[2]

In Trinidad & Tobago the term "horn" is used in conjunction with cuckolds, or anyone of either sex who has a cheating spouse. Other uses include "to horn" (to sleep with someone else's spouse), "horning" (the act of cheating on your spouse), "horner-man" (a man who is sleeping with someone else's spouse) and "horner-woman" (a woman who is sleeping with someone else's spouse), "to get horn", "to take (a) horn". It is usually used in a pejorative sense. Numerous calypsoes have been written about the topic; the most famous being "Horn Me Sandra" by the calypsonian known as Lord Kitchener.

Interestingly this horn analogy extends even to Turkey where the cuckolded husband is termed boynuzlu or the "horned one".

Popularity of cuckolding

Cuckolding has grown in recent years to quite a large subculture with many websites and message boards such as cuckolds.co.uk on the subject.

Cuckolding as a dominant voyeuristic act

While the word origin and most historic accounts define the cuckold husband as being submissive, powerless and/or in need of humiliation to receive stimulation, contemporary practice suggests the possibility of something altogether different. Rather than passively acceding to the infidelity and desires of an errant wife, this cuckold is more in keeping with the male partners defined in polyamorous, open, or swinging relationships.

In this manifestation, the cuckold is a consummate voyeur who derives great pleasure from seeing his wife or partner being pleasured and serviced by another male(s). Although he assumes a submissive role and will often assist during the course of the sex act, the "cuckold husband" may actually be the controlling, dominant party in the relationship. He may invite, encourage, and initiate consideration of the practice with his partner, and may be the one to make arrangements and approve how, when and with whom his wife may have the intended encounter.

Often, the excitement of the encounter with third parties is followed by more sex play between the relationship partners. The encounter becomes an aphrodisiac, helping to initiate and enhance further sex play between them, as visions of the encounter are revisited and replayed during subsequent love making sessions. It is quite common among swinger couples. Many start out in the swinging lifestyle and branch out into the cuckold lifestyle. As they find that the male partner much prefers to share his mate with others rather than have intercourse with other females.

 

Cuckoldry as a fetish

Cuckoldry as a fetish has been around since at least the time of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch (the writer after whom the term Masochism is coined). Sacher-Masoch's wife, Aurora Rümelin, recounts in her memoirs multiple instances of Sacher-Masoch asking, begging and even threatening her to make her cuckold him so he could experience the pain and humiliation of the act. To that end, Sacher-Masoch created multiple opportunities for the adulterous act to occur, none of which were successful. While Rümelin indulged her husband in many of his masochistic requests, due in large part because of her dependence on him to financially support her and her children, she steadfastly refused to cuckold him. Rümelin's refusal to succumb to Sacher-Masoch's cuckolding fantasies was one of the causes of their separation and her subsequent descent into poverty.[citation needed]

The term has acquired additional meanings within certain sub-cultures, referring to couples wherein the female is dominant and she takes on additional partners, while the male takes on a submissive role where he is monogamous to her, or only becoming involved sexually when it is felt to be emotionally supportive of her and her lover, or remaining altogether chaste.

The wife who enjoys cuckoldry is sometimes referred to as a hotwife or cuckoldress. In a broader context, the contrast between a cuckold and the additional male participant is sometimes used to summarize an individual's personality or behavior and the variability commonly seen in male libidos; the cuckold or beta male suggesting a lack of virility or smaller phallus and the additional male participant or alpha male representing virility, potency, a larger phallus, fertility, masculinity, strength and a sense of confidence in the ease with which he may sexually possess another man's wife.

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A cuckold (or cuck) is a married man whose wife has sex with other men.
In current usage it sometimes refers to non-married couples in committed relationships as well,
although the traditional meaning is a man whose wife is adulterous and cannot satisfy her sexual desires and requires the help of extra wifelovers called Bulls